Ten Tips for Handling the Holidays with Children after a Divorce (Part 1)

by Norris Law Group on December 24, 2014

Our last installment introduced writings by Dr. Robert Emory in Psychology Today about how divorced or divorcing couples can make the holidays fun for their children (and perhaps even for themselves).

Dr. Emory offers ten tips to help  make the holidays a happy and memorable time for all. Here are the first five (the next five will appear in our next post):

1. The holidays are not all about you. Your children deserve the chance to enjoy the holidays, even if you feel that yours have been ruined. Encourage your children to have a good time with your ex-spouse, no matter how you may feel about him or her.

2. Get involved in the “spirit of the season.” The holidays are a time of giving—and forgiveness. They may be a good chance for a “fresh start.” Ebenezer Scrooge provided a good example of this in the classic “A Christmas Carol.” After a very “rough night,” Scrooge decided let go of all of his anger, resentment, and bitterness. Even if you feel as though you have lost a great deal, try to concentrate on what you still have.

3. Love means more than money. “Presents” are great, but more than anything, your children really need your time, attention, and “presence” much more.

4. The holidays are not a competition. This is not the time to try to “outdo” your ex by giving your children a ton of extravagant presents. Instead, teach your children the true meaning of the holidays.

5. Communicate about your children with your ex. Show your children that you can be civil with your former spouse. A quick phone call, text, email, or even a conversation in person can help you both ensure that you didn’t buy your children the same presents, or are have scheduled conflicting activities. Staying in touch with your ex also shows your children that you care about them.

Attorney Graham Norris and his associates at the Norris Law Group serve the residents of Utah County, UT and throughout Utah, Wyoming, Idaho, and California. Contact them today at 801-932-1238 or online for a free consultation.

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