Keeping Your Ex Involved in Your Child’s Life

by Norris Law Group on January 1, 2014

child_backpackAn article in Parenting Magazine reminds divorcing parents that although you may wish you see your ex-spouse less often as opposed to more, your ex is your child’s parent, too, and barring any abusive behavior on the part of your ex, their relationship continues. After a divorce, both parents will ideally play an active role in a child’s life.

In order to stop any “lingering hostilities” between you and your ex-spouse from getting in the way , here are some suggestions for keeping your ex involved in your child’s daily life:

  • Be positive. View your ex as a parent of your children, rather than “the person you just divorced.” Concentrate on the qualities you admire and respect about your ex.  Trinidad Madrigal, a child-custody expert and lead attorney for the San Mateo County (California) Department of Child Support Services suggests trying parenting classes, therapy, or co-parent counseling if you are having a hard time communicating with your ex-spouse. The best interests of your children are of paramount importance.
  • Encourage participation. Schedule activities that you both agree are appropriate and fun for your children—such as going to the library or to the zoo — and then decide which one of you will take your children to which activities. Make sure to equally divide the “fun” between you!
  • Synchronize schedules. It is important to keep working together with your ex-spouse for the good of your children after a separation. Come to agreements upon matters such as guidelines for buying gifts and vacations. Coordinate events such as teacher conferences and team sports together, so you and your ex are both as involved as possible.

Kathryn Moir of Oakland, CA, who overcame her desire to cut her ex-husband out of parenting, is quoted: “No matter how you may feel about him, give him as much time with the kids as you can…[m]y children love me for that, and they love their father for staying in their lives.”

Attorney Graham Norris and his associates at the Norris Law Group serve the residents of Utah County and throughout Utah in the area of divorce. Contact them today at 801-932-1238 or online for a free consultation.

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