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Top 20 Tough Realities of Divorce, Part 2

by Norris Law Group on January 7, 2014

Are you a child of divorce who has grown up and is now experiencing divorce in your own marriage?

Pamela Cytrynbaum, Executive Director of The Chicago Innocence Project and former member of the faculties of Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism and Oregon State University’s New Media Communications program offers some thoughts in Psychology Today about this particular phenomenon based on her own experiences (also see Part 1 here):

11. You @#$$%^%!!!!:  If your ex-spouse did things that drove you crazy in your marriage, these things will still make you crazy in your divorce (maybe even more so).

12. She did WHAT? You may not know as much about your ex-spouse as you think.

13. Cognitive Dissonance: Divorce may cause you to “hold tight to the memories” of all that was good in your marriage while at the same time realizing that you now perceive your spouse as an “enemy” who is trying to take all that you hold dear.

14. Harm to your children: Regardless of how “amicable” your divorce may be,  your children will hurt, no matter what. You and your ex will have to live with that—and so will your kids.

15. Please get back together! Your kids will probably always wish you and your ex-spouse will get back together.

16. Everything old is new again: Whatever was bad about your marriage will remain bad in your divorce.

17.  Everybody’s on the pain train: Whether you or your ex-spouse asked for the divorce, everyone is hurting—equally.

18. Being unfriended: Even though it may be awful, your friends and family are going to “choose sides.”

19Shame: Divorce feels terrible, even if it is the right solution. You will probably judge yourself—and your ex—very harshly.

20. And yet….: Over time, you’ll feel differently about getting divorced. Your emotions will change; sometimes you’ll feel worse, and sometimes—mercifully—you’ll feel better.

Attorney Graham Norris and his associates at the Norris Law Group serve the residents of Utah County and throughout Utah in the area of divorce. Contact them today at 801-932-1238 or online for a free consultation.

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