BYU Grad’s Post about “Marriage Advice I Wish I Would Have Had…” Goes Viral

by Graham Norris on October 28, 2013

Marriage Advice I Wish I Would Have HadSarah Peterson of the Deseret News recently wrote about Gerald Rogers, a graduate of Brigham Young University, who was surprised when a blog post he made early one morning went viral.

Rogers’ post entitled Marriage Advice I Wish Would Have Had first appeared on his own blog on July 28, 2013, and on Facebook on September 13, 2013. Since then, it has been posted and reposted by individuals and media outlets all over the world, including NBC’s Today show.

In this post, Rogers expressed the pain and regret he felt after divorcing his wife of 16 years. His abridged list of his suggestions includes:

  1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted.
  2. PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance.
  3. FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again.
  4. ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her.
  5. IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing.
  6. TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions.
  7. NEVER BLAME your wife If you get frustrated or angry, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU.
  8. Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok.
  9. BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so d*mn seriously.
  10. FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED.
  11. BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul.
  12. BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul.
  13. DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she.
  14. GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself.
  15. BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fear and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.
  16. BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share.
  18. DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it.
  19. FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past.

Attorney Graham Norris and his associates at the Norris Law Group serve the residents of Utah County and throughout Utah in the area of divorce. Contact them today at 801-932-1238 or online for a free consultation.

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